Please let me know, and I’ll do my best to avoid it in the future
Whose gift do you choose?
Frodo- gives you his skincare routine
Legolas- gives you a confused look
Pippin- gives you the tooth he lost when he tripped and fell on a rock just now
Boromir- gives you a kazoo to blow if you’re in trouble
Merry- gives you a silica gel packet to eat
Sam- gives you the eaves he just dropped
Gandalf- gives you Pippin’s head to bash against the gates of Moria
Faramir- gives you a cool walking stick (canon!)
Aragorn- gives you his sweaty socks that haven’t been washed for a year
Elrond- gives you low opacity power
Gimli- gives you his killer mixtape
Bilbo- gives you his handkerchief (pre used)
Please reblog for bigger sample size because this is very important information
Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS.
Featuring Helpful Sections such as:
- Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and how to get them
- Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone
- What the Everloving Fuck is Probate
- Some Simple Dos and Don’ts
- Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and Memorials
- How to plan a non-religious death party
- So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some shit
This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures.
It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death.
I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together.
Good luck!
(in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit)
Death sucks, hope you’re doing okay out there.
[ID: The Destiel “I love you” meme where the bottom text says “franchise pharmacists nationwide may strike soon for better staffing. Refill your meds, & call the chains on unsafe labor practices.” /End ID]




